Expressing Myself

 

Man…life has been real crazy since the last time I posted on here.  I’m still working hard and there is no surprise there.  I have some new opportunities that have popped up that I am taking advantage of this week, and I’m excited to see where that is going to lead me.  But that is not what this blog is about…

Everyone basically knows I’m getting married next month.  They have all known for awhile.  I really don’t understand why I am still receiving all kinds of grief about it.  I have been engaged for a year, get over it.  I really do not care what your opinion is, but one of the first conversations I have with you, you should not tell me that I am too young to get married and that I should not do it.  Bitch, I don’t even know you!  Also, I don’t smoke and I don’t drink.  I don’t plan on ever doing either.  Drinking is a really big temptation in my life, and I really don’t want it to be in my life.  I used to drink, okay? Okay.  I stopped because Tyler saw something that I did not.  I would get drunk when I was lonely or depressed.  It had gotten to a point to where I was drunk and showed up to my friends house that way and had to relax for a while before I sobered up.  Drinking when you are emotional is not a good time to drink.  Depressive drinking is how alcoholism can start.  I have seen some pretty depressing days in mine life.  Some of these days I did things that I regret, for instance drinking.  I also gave myself some pretty severe eraser burns on my arm and hand until I started bleeding.  What all of this is saying is that I have a tendency to look for things that distract me from any form of pain, and I will try almost anything to take my mind off of it and focus on something else.  I feel that I do have addictive tendencies, and THAT is why I do not drink, so get off my case poop face.  Also, I have a fear of strip clubs.  I have never been to one and I have no, and will never have any desire to ever go to one!  They just seem degrading, disgusting, unsanitary, and uncomfortable.  Stop asking me and trying to persuade me to go because I will never go.  EVERRRR.  True friends can respect that and will not insist on pushing you into doing something that I do not want to do.  Another thing, I am devoted to help bring awareness to the slaughter of the oceans creatures.  I am well aware that there are no dolphins in Arizona.  I am not a retard.  The point is not to save them from where I am, it is to bring awareness around the world so people who have the means to help save whales, dolphins, etc. will.  To say that I’m not doing anything here because there are no dolphins in Arizona is extremely ignorant.  Tyler and I have been on the news twice for being at protests and every person who saw that became aware of the struggle, if they didn’t know already.  That is the goal.  In addition to that last bit, Sea Shepherd is a very dedicated, hard working organization.  To say that they do nothing by throwing stuff at a ship, shows how extremely retarded you are as a person.  If you know nothing about a cause, do not open your fucking mouth.  Lastly, I love Tyler with all of my heart.  I treat her the best I can because I love her.  My responsibility as a husband is to make sure my family will never want for a single damn thing their entire life.  Yes I take her to see every movie she wants to see even though she doesn’t go to see mine.  That is not her job to go with me.  She is not a movie person and I am perfectly fine with that.  She is perfect just the way she is.  Plus, I enjoy almost all of the movies I take her to see.  Pooh Bear is the shit bitch, so back off.  I take a lot of crap and shrug it off on the outside, but as you can see it does build up.  I do not appreciate some of the grief I have been taking over that last year, so I’d appreciate if you are reading this and feel it’s you, that you will make an effort to change.  There is a lot more to me than you get to see by being around me.  I am more than just a love stricken, working machine.  I am a person.  I bleed just like you bleed, and I feel pain just like you feel pain.  I have a long life ahead of me, I could use some people in my life to help make it go by easier.

-Tanner